This THIS is what I should’ve played when he asked why. I just can’t. Call me whatever. Hate me. Blame it on me but for my own sake I need an end to this tunnel. And no matter what I can’t seem to think about an old great friend and boil over in frustration. “She ain’t even half of me.”So no. This ain’t gonna work. And it’s all because “you lied.” Fuck it. “I’m much too full of resentment” for this to get stronger, deeper, harder to get out of. Shallow waters can’t swallow you like the ones with intense depth. I’m screaming for my life boat in shallow waters because I can’t afford to drown again. I’m one lung down. I’m still shaking water out my ears. I’m fucking fatigued. I’m fucking fatigued. I don’t want it. I just keep thinking that over and over again. I don’t want it. One day it will be something I believe every time. For now I will have to settle for believing myself when I say it in certain aspects because although I know I don’t want the relationship I’m working on not wanting the physical. But fuck, I should never have to paddle this hard in shallow waters.
I fuck with my natural hair 👑
I am soooooo outta touch with technology. Like literally. Our internet has been turned off. I don’t have the tv converter box so I literally just watch movies or like read or go to the library to work. I think this is what God wants. I think this is how its supposed to be. Atleast for now.